Welcome to the Waiting Game!
Tomorrow could be the day that changes my life for the next three to four years. I am excited, nervous, and fearful all rolled into one. Over the past two weeks, I've had some self doubt. Not because I didn't think I did well in my interview, but I am having some self doubt. Did this university really feel like a good fit or am I making things up in my head because I don't have any other leads? Or maybe the interview really didn't go as well as I thought it did. Yes, all these questions lead to one thing, I am scared of commitment when I don't have any other options on the table. There I said it. I scared... scared of commitment... scared of commitment with no other choices...
There have been many "what if" questions flying through my head. I actually have been making myself sick over it.
I know this is a wonderful position because it has almost everything I want.
Let me break down the pros:
I can bring my cat with me, the director is amazing and I can see myself growing into a stronger professional, I would be working in a first year hall, I like the type of student that attends the university, the university is very small, its religious, I will have summers off! ( who wouldn't love this?!)
The town is very small, I am far from family, I am scared.
Ok, clearly the pro's outweigh the cons, so why am I freaking out? This is my first on campus and I have nothing compare it to. I'm scared something better might come along. Deep down I know I will be happy here. If they offer me the position tomorrow I think I already know the answer!
"When we have arrived at the question, the answer is already near" Ralph Waldo Emerson
I will keep you posted!